When is your Help Appreciated?

So when is your help appreciated? When it is given as a hand-up not a hand-out- honorably, humbly, respectfully.

It is not easy to ask for your help. It is humbling. I know very well from the standpoint of giver and receiver as to what can be implied or attached to help… This can be a stigma of shame or guilt or intolerance or even regret. But, no matter – any help given when it is given with less then honorable or at the very least – true honest heart – is not to be taken. This is simply because

I have helped many people over my life time – now I am 61 winters. Oh I have been helped as well. Yet, I have been cautious as to who I ask… and truthfully – I have even more difficulty in exercising good judgement these days as yo who to who I ask. Sadly, I have been deeply disappointed by a  person I thought was my friend – my honorable brother. I at one time loaned this person a few thousand dollars to cover their own mortgage. I worked for the person and knew much of deeply personal matters. I thought I understood and was loyal. Maybe loyal beyond good sense of my own image of strength or weakness or subservience or even ignorant. I knew why he needed help and I helped.
I ended up having to ask for my money… which did not go over very well. He paid it back in a little brown paper bag.
There were other times when we helped each other and we helped others too.

I saw first hand that many people never paid him back and he would share with me about – I felt guilty and some how responsible – so much so that I felt pressured to do “something” about his lost money. A couple of times I spoke with people who did this and not surprisingly – they paid hm back. It was uncomfortable for me but I did it. He never once said that he was thankful for my service… probably because he was “embarrassed” or “ashamed”. I think ashamed but then again this is my word. I did this out of respect.

I have not kept track of how many people actually cheated me. I have not kept track of how many people I have helped or the amounts. I can honestly say that I have never ever – given someone – anyone money – just enough money to HAVE THEM ALMOST MAKE IT!  You know where someone needs $300. and I give them an “incentive of my own determination… of my own thinking” just to have some bizarre lessons or exercise for them to go through or overcome?? Anyhow I have had this happen and the “helper” went through the motions of helping even though I was right out in the open about my need and my situation. But it went on anyhow!!

I have been helped with hand-outs of extraordinary pittances… little amounts which would choke a mouse… and it was supposed to be looked upon as grateful. This brings me to the most annoying helper of all – the one who “pray for you”. They won’t make any effort to reach for their wallets and offer some personal assistance. Hey they will even ask “How much would you sell your vehicle for?” (Now that you are desperate!) Hey these are the kind of people I call “death prayer buzzards” and there are quite a few of these opportunists out there – believe me.

So in the short of it all – I need help… do you want to to help? Or do you want to get some unfair opportunity?