WHAT *MASK* ARE YOU WEARING?

Each of us care about someone and we care in the way we can handle or manage. This means that we can only do what we can feel safe about. We can think and feel and we all do.

What I am going to share about your ability and will to understand your information – right now. What is your real inner (intimate) value system all about.

How do you understand yourself and those you care for? And how do you take care of yourself right now. Can you remember how you did life before? For instance – when you actively drinking or drugging or being violent and acting in “an uncaring manner”. I say this as examples of dysfunctional living situations which – when you can see, understand and admit to – will help you to help yourself and others, That person or people whom you want to care for.

There is a fact that – if you are on an airplane and the oxygen masks fall out because the oxygen is gone… you must put your mask on immediately. Failure to put your mask on right away will result in you passing out. Just imagine a father with a small child. The masks drop because the oxygen is escaping the cabin. He sees his child and wants to save it first. So he puts the child’s mask on first. I should say – he attempts to put his child’s mask on. Each of us must understand that when you lose all the oxygen – you will pass out within seconds. And keep in mind – you have to put this mask on – having never done this before and you are scared. Any fumbling is disastrous. This is why we are all instructed to put our air mask on FIRST!

I write to stir your thoughts – your perceptions – your beliefs – your understanding… how you know what you know and how you learned to do life – how to do helping. I refer to a MASK as what you show and share with others. And in this case how you help someone you want to care for… and to look at where you are “coming from” in terms of your expectations and for you to look at what exactly you are offering to that loved one.

I have had to look at my way of helping others – especially those I love and even those I thought I loved. And believe me I had a lot of distorted views on what I was passing off as HELP. I made many, many mistakes throughout my relationships. I say this because I finally had to address my own history of emotionally disturbed behavior. I lived that adage or old saying (my mask) that said “Do as I say – NOT as I do”. So I want you to know that I am not pretending to be “better than you”.

In all seriousness – In becoming a responsible helper – each of must examine how we are truly loving, nurturing, caring and responsible as adult – NOW. Especially when it comes to children – adult children and young children, teenagers and every age who may be living near death through depression, drug and dangerous lifestyle.

CARING ABOUT SOMEONE IS TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!

The example of the oxygen mask is real because it illustrates how we can care and still be disturbed in how we HELP. It is so important to look closely at how we can be disturbed and distorted in how we are caring for someone – someone who needs us.

This is not to imply that you are wrong in any way. This is about inspiring you to think about your present way of helping. Really examine how you are caring about someone very important to you. That someone life depends on your healthiness.

I ask you straight up – would you listen to your old self as you remember your dysfunctional – disturbed – even abusive way of living? I don’t think so.

When caring for someone – anyone who knows your former way of living life – then each of must be willing to deal with our history – to look closely and honestly about our belief system.

The picture I show is me in Soweto Township 1996. I use it because these children saw me as someone different than anyone else that the saw around there before. The were saying, “Power – power – power” and touching me. I look back and remember how dysfunctional I was living. I think about my act – MY MASK. I know that I shared an experience with these children then. And it makes me wonder how their lives went after. I use this pic as an illustration of understanding how me being someone in a certain way at a certain time in the lives of impressionable children. I wish I could have always been as responsible through my life – because I was not. As I see this pic – I remember thinking of my childhood in poverty and alcoholism in my home and the environment I had… and how this shaped my lifestyle. And how I mis-treated my own children and others I related to and with. I am wanting you to become willing to examine the healing process to become the healthy adult that you needed when you were a child.

It is very difficult to find healthy help in order that we become the healthy support we want to be.

I hope – pray that I have helped you to become more aware of your right to making a better life for yourself an those you love.

MORE TO COME IN THIS ARTICLE.