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HEALTHY HEALING HELP IS YOUR RIGHT

TREATMENT VS THERAPY VS HEALTHY HELP – Examining & Understanding of Helping Yourself – Educating Your Self

First Off – YOU have the right to healthy help.

Anger can be understood and be healthyYOU have the right to have who ever is helping you “share honestly” as to their healthiness.

YOU have the right to become the adult that you needed to parent you or “raise” you up as a child.

YOU have the right to know that when someone is helping you – that they actually have experienced / lived the methods and or techniques that they are “telling you to do or use in your efforts to help yourself to heal and live healthier”!

YOU have the right to understand that anyone – every one who – comes to help you must be “WALKING THEIR TALK” – in other words living healthy.

AND – before we go any farther – for those of YOU – who may think that therapy is a “magic fix” or will allow you to make better your relationship – think and know clearly – it can help you to learn to communicate better… and where necessary will and must help you change your perspective, your perceptions, even your beliefs… perhaps – even your morals??

Therapy – real therapy – actually has you deal with your emotional content. Experiential psychotherapy will educate and get you top do practical emotional work from your inner life experiences. True therapy has you actually sort out your inner beliefs and straighten out “crazy-making stuff” or “bizarre-acting stuff” from parents or primary caregivers and including “shit” from everyone and anyone who “took part” in your life. After all, you learned to do dysfunctional living before you knew it…. and then you did it naturally. You even added to it by your misguided understanding of how to do relationship. Stuff that you might not even realize is messed-up. It is hard to be open and honest about what we have worked so hard to hide and deny. And don’t just TRY to be honest – Expect to be honest because you can’t hide feelings tied to childhood trauma. And you will learn to emote intelligently and freely in the end.

It is said that the truth will set you free – however – it will make you feel overwhelmed and think hopeless. Believe me – you can and will resolve old dependent ways of acting in or out.

YOU can learn to understand that psychology is the basis of MOST therapy or treatment. You need to know and accept that psychology is NOT an EXACT SCIENCE – meaning that is NOT the ONLY way for every person to be assessed. Psychology is many, many different theories and these are ways for someone helping to get ideas and to quicker understand how to help another person. And psychologies came from ideas or theories because of “problems or issues presented to society.

Keep in mind – now – that there are many sub-versions of psychology. There are so many  various ways that are based on what ONE individual focused and studied and named as a new aspect of psychology. Understand too, that these separate parts of psychology are based on a certain STUDY of a  group of people and NOT just on  one  specific individual.

Each person – you – have the right to have all your circumstances – all your thinking and emotions and how you understand them – taken into account when getting help.

YOU must understand that psychology is a study made up from European white middle-class males – who ruled society and it is this “class” which controlled this study over a hundred years and they still dominate.

How do think this situation ended up feeling like for everyone involved – how does it now effect you?

This “science” was started at a time when racism and sexism reined supreme. This was the dysfunctional system behind the system of psychology. I am not saying that the system is totally unhealthy.  I am saying the basis of psychology is unhealthy. I am saying that whoever uses techniques and methods of ANY healing modality – must be healthy AND must do their own healing before trying to lead someone else out of troubled life. So, know your rights before accepting help.

The person you get help from is usually called a psychologist or psychotherapist or in some cases –  “medicine person”.

Therapy started from a person like Sigmund Freud – who  had an idea that some problem he had or he saw in someone else could be fixed. And they helped from how they understood life. Help or healing was  based on they how he saw it solution – with colors of people and classes and gender or sex. The view held then was “Fugged-Up!

Their depth and quality of helping solve problems was based on the societal values of that era or time.  It was based on that person’s experience and what society allowed

Keep in mind And remember – all people are unique. YOU are unique. And all that you think, feel and know = believe and perceive is important.

YOU deserve to be allowed to emote and if this is troubling for you – you can learn to emote with a healthiness which will allow you to express emotions in a more healthy – functional way when relating.

So, you must have a clear idea of who this helper is. Get to  know who this “helping person” is!

It is your right to know that they live healthy with other people – who if you asked – would say how healthy they are… After all, YOU will be making a real trust relationship. Right! It is YOUR RIGHT to know and to have a someone who needs to develop trust and get real healthy HELP.

So now – on to getting the help to “understand your problem or problems”.

YOU must become willing to understand and know and believe that having a feeling is NOT the same as thinking.

When you say “I feel” – when you are telling about what is going on with you or around you – you must learn to say “an emotion” – simply – a feeling is an emotion. And you must become willing to understand that emotions are separate and different from thinking a thought. Be aware that they are related and one can come from another – either way.

So be aware of saying I feel and then going on to say something like – “I feel that you are NOT being fair”. You have feelings or emotions throughout your whole day and every aspect of your life. So, you must work on being more accurate in describing what you feel (emotion) and what you think.

Thought or thinking is what is being said to your self in your mind.

Your brain is a physical part of your body – your mind is working out of your brain.

Emotions are best learned as simply explanation words. Words for emotions are anger, sad, happy, fear, shame, guilt, and lonely (close to sad). There are variations of these simply emotions and we will get into them later on.

I have known – for myself – throughout my RECOVERY life – that I grew up with emotionally under-developed parents and teachers all around me. It is my hypothesis from my experiences and the many, many years of studying, therapy and treatment – that I was EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED! This is what I know is the core of my relationship and living difficulties.

To admit to being emotionally disturbed is very difficult to do – if not – impossible.

We – YOU must be able to look into this thought!! After all you can’t fix what you don’t know. Otherwise, you would need someone around to keep pointing out that something you are involved in is causing “us” problem. So, work on be willing to find healthy safe help to support you in seeing what is going on with your emotions and your thinking – which result in YOU behaving unhealthy and having living trouble in relationship. Mitakuye Oyasin – All my relations.

Check out this treatment center I attended 11 times – www.experienceonsite.com 

A Brother Horse I trained with - MOrning Star
A Brother Horse I trained with – Morning Star

In the 90’s I went 11 separate sessions – some were experiential psychotherapy/psychodrama TREATMENT and some were Equine Therapy (Experiential Healing work with horses in the field). While I did actual therapy for personal healing I did actual training sessions of experiential psychotherapy and psychodrama training and some were experiential Equine Therapy training. All of these sessions were about my personal issues AND all the other participants – who attended – worked on their own personal issues. All work had to do with emotional expression and learning to sort out disturbed and distorted ideas, perceptions and beliefs about myself and others. This was true for all participants

The most IMPORTANT requirement was that each therapist or assistant HAD TO HAVE DONE THEIR OWN PERSONAL HEALING WORK!!!!

Everyone I worked with at ONSITE had done their own work. Some did more than others and this was evident in their healthiness as I saw them in my personal involvement with them. I will write more of this in the future.

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